Chicken is more addictive than Alcohol
Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg? is the perennial non-starter and some people try to chicken out of this question while some run like a headless chicken but the question and its answer remain elusive. I agree that I am no spring chicken and that I rarely go to bed with chickens and Hen Fruit is not my favorite choice of breakfast and someday Chickens must come home to roost but here I am not telling you a Cock (Chicken’s Father) & Bull Story. However, if you observe in many phrases I have used, chicken gets a negative connotation. Only in one form, i.e. as a dish of eating it is totally positive and beats many foods. In this respect, Chicken is indeed more addictive than Alcohol.
I am not a Tee-totaler but I stop at A only. See, in comparison of a teetotaler who goes a whole mile longer to stop at T, I like a gentleman stop at A. I could have gone much farther than T and could have stopped at V(odka) or W(hisky) but no Man, after all discipline is something to follow. Be as it may I have heard that Alcohol is addictive and people do not come out of it as it is habit forming. Though it is said that good habits have to be set early and nurtured there-after but I could not understand that how Alcohol is called addictive. I have seen those who are said to have taken to drinks are very particular and they take drinks one day and they stop and they drink next day only. Nothing in between! Where is any habit in this? But yes I see that such people who are said to be addicted to drinks become very restless at the appointed hour next day. But I was surprised to find that people given to eating chicken getting anxiety prone near the dinner time and some even drool. And more important is the fact that such persons can take a variety of chicken dishes, dry, roasted, boneless and Mughlai. This does not stop here only. Chicken creates such a craving that it is served one way or other in each meal and in all such servings it creates the same impact. Is it not addiction? But in this immoral world, eating chicken thrice does not carry any stigma while on the obverse, someone taking hard drinks in three meals would be termed as drinking like a fish. Eating so much Chicken can be so harmful. In comparison, poor Alcohol remains in the system for some time, gives tingling sensation and then off through the drain. And it does thin the blood till it remains in it.
Why I am the best person to comment in the case of Chicken Vs. Alcohol is because of existential angst that surrounded me during my visitations in the District where I was posted (Jalgaon to be precise) as a Sub Divisional Police Officer was supposed to visit serious Crime, guide and direct the investigation in right lines and camp at the place of crime or nearabouts. While the day would pass on some fruits and some farsan, as pursuing crime matters demanded much attention, the night time the hunger pangs tormented and after washing grease and grime after whole days work, meal was awaited eagerly. I was vegetarian and when for the evening meal enquiry was made by the officer, Keep it Simple was the answer. Well said and well done and lo and behold the dinner was rolled out in chapatti, large chunks of onion, rice and Chicken. ‘Simple’. 5–6 planktons would neither quench the hunger nor craving for Dal- Roti-Sabzi-Chawal, the staple food I was grown-up with. Many a visitation later and worried at my hunger pangs my office staff and my personal staff combined and suggested that my cook makes excellent chicken and you can try it and learn relishing it so that you can survive in rural areas during visitation. However I asked as to how I will eat it, my cook winked at me and said, ‘Gulp two to soothe your raw nerves’. Gentlemen, here again the adage came true and Alcohol came first, Chicken later.
In any case I ate and started eating chicken even after I got promoted. Few years afterwards, what with predilections and many predicaments later, I left eating chicken, reasons were many, mundane and temporal, this-worldly and other-worldly, immediate to celestial. But I left it for good. Along with me my colleague D also left it for reasons best known to him.
Now we roll on few more years where I kept my resolve and remained vegetarian. The then DGP, like Akbar Badshah, let us call him ‘A’, his second in command like Birbal in ‘D ‘ and me as a specialist like Todarmal as G were attending a review meeting about state of Naxalism. The Lunch was going on and me (G) and D were standing a bit aloof taking our lunch. Now, the DG, in A, saw us and astute that he is came straight to the point. He said, ‘G What are you eating?’
I replied, ‘The usual stuff, Daal Roti, Subzi Chawal’ !
DG ‘A ‘-But I distinctly remember G that you used to eat non veg?
Now I got surprised at this DG and his Elephantine memory but replied, ‘Sir I stopped eating Non-Veg in 1989!
DG ‘A’- Oh and you ‘D’ what are you eating?
D- Sir Vegetarian food.
DG’A’ — Oh so you have converted to Vegetarianism? And may I ask since when? All this while he looked at me with an accusing eye of being spoil sport!
D- Since 1989
DG’A’- Okay so both of you are converts together.
He thereafter got a bit easy, talkative and friendly. After all two Vegs were facing the mighty A, a confirmed non veg and said,
‘I don’t know how per force you both eat Veg food.’
‘G’- But why Sir
DG ‘A’- Because as usual, the male/head of the house asks ki Suno aaj Khaane mein Kya bana and wife replies that aaj to daal roti bani hai! Lagaa doon? Disconcertingly, the male/Head of the house replies in sullen voice says- Daal Roti? Chalo laga do! He somehow eats it with no interest in food. Hence I am asking as to how you both eat this Vegetarian food?
Now G, a confirmed Vegetarian who lived on Vegetarian food almost all his life, who relished a range of Veg food from Dum aloo to Palak Paneer, Litti Chokha to Dal-Baati-Choorma, Baingan Bharta to methi matar Malai, Makhana Kaju matar to Kamal Kakdi (Bhain) ki chaat, Dahi bhalla and Boondi ka Raita, Mirchi ka Salan to Gobhi Matar gajar ki subzi the list is endless. He looked at D and made this profound observation,
“ Our DG has really cracked a Non Veg Joke today!”
In the above, DG A was DGP Mahrashtra, D was future DGP Maharashtra fore more than 1000 days and G was the ADG.
That is why I say that Chicken is more addictive than Alcohol
E-231 Windsor Park As the God Of Fowl
Indirapuram, Ghaziabad Vetaal desires Pankaj Gupta